Age psychology: the crisis of adolescence

There is a period in the life of each person, accompanied by a crisis. To deal with this will help age psychology. The crisis of adolescence is a purely individual affair.

Periods of the adolescent crisis

The average crisis for girls occurs at the age of 11-16 years, and in boys - at 12-18 years. Girls have a crisis earlier than boys, and it runs faster and easier. Probably, this is because in our society the requirements for self-determination of the guys are traditionally tougher than those of the girls.

And yet, the beginning and the end of the teenage crisis for everyone is purely individual.

To adolescents, parents and educators it is important to understand what is happening in the inner world of a teenager during this period.

Manifestations of the

crisis The crisis of the adolescent period can have two development scenarios: dependent crisis and independent. In a dependent crisis, a teenager becomes very timid and obedient in requests, can get carried away with children's games, in her actions completely depends on adults, she never does anything herself, is infantile in her actions and thoughts, always agrees with the opinion of others( he does not defend his own interestsIs capable), in a society tries not to stand out and be like all other peers. With an independent crisis, a teenager's negative attitude toward life, rudeness in communicating with people, reluctance to let elders into their microcosm, desire to have a separate place of residence, reject someone else's opinion and be sure of the exclusivity of their actions and deeds.

How to behave to parents with their teenager

We have already said that every child's adolescence comes at a specific time. First of all, parents need to be attentive to the age development of the child. Since it is very important not to miss the first, indistinct and smeared signs of the onset of this age.

First, be serious about the individual development of your child. Do not take it small if it starts to feel like a teenager. But it is not necessary to push him into adulthood forcibly. Perhaps your child needs much more time than his peers. There is nothing terrible in this.

Secondly, take seriously all the statements of your child, even if they seem stupid and immature to you. Try to make sure that the phrase you said is the same as your teenager. For example, if your son( or daughter) says: "I can decide everything myself."It is necessary to understand what exactly is behind this phrase. Either what sweater to wear for a walk, whether to spend the night or not to spend the night at home. Agree that in these terms a great distance. Therefore, it is important to discuss and take seriously the above.

Third, try to provide your teenager with independence as soon as possible. As much as he can bear. Try boringly and tediously consult with him on every trifle."How do you imagine what kind of wallpaper is better to buy? Worse or better, more expensive or cheaper? Bright or calm tone? ".Try to involve him as often as possible in family problems and his own. To do this, talk more about your work, consult with him how to act in a particular case, etc. Let your child understand that you are actually in reality, and not in words, you see in him an equal member of your family.

Fourth, always do yourself what you want to see from your daughter( or son).If you stay somewhere, then call home and say so. Talk not only about who and where you go, but also about how you are going to spend time. Tell your teenager more about your friends and acquaintances. Invite to your home as often as possible guests. Talk about your experiences and feelings, share your problems, ask for advice from him. Looking at your actions and attitude towards him, believe that your child will go first to you with his problem, and not somewhere in the nearest gateway of .

Fifth, if you find mistakes in the upbringing of your child that you made in the previous stages, try to correct them. Because all the mistakes made before will come out and blossom in a lush color precisely in a crisis adolescent .