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Introvert and extrovert: how to recognize and live together


The fact that everyone has an individual character is known to everyone.Differences between people are noticeable even to a specialist - someone likes to be in the company, to attend meetings and work in a team.And someone, on the contrary, prefers solitude, thinks a lot and just does not tolerate noise around him.And such different people still manage to live together, to create strong families!Everything is simple enough - you need to learn to distinguish between the introvert and the extrovert and know the features of the psycho-emotional background of each of them.

Contents: Extraverts - people running through life Introverts - "calmness, only calmness" An extrovert and introvert: characteristics and differences Introvert and extrovert - how to get along together?

Extroverts are people who are on life

They are constantly in the thick of things, prefer active leisure, make quick decisions, easily express themselves, always aim at results - it's all about extroverts.They are very easy to recognize, they literally gush forth their energy and at the same time absolutely can not do any one thing thoughtfully and for a long time.Such people are very comfortable in an atmosphere of constant action, they never feel tired from communication.

Introvert-extrovert Sometimes people with the type in question openly declare fatigue and a desire to rest from everything, but this is a fleeting statement.Even if the extrovert needs to retire to work with documents, he will quit after some time and come out to people - he will go for a cup of coffee, talk with his colleagues, and go shopping.

Extroverts never combine concepts such as breadth and depth - it's not about mathematical values.The fact is that extroverts prefer in their training, for example, to cover as many spheres as possible, but they do not go into any of them.When talking or collaborating, it's fairly easy to find out - the tops of knowledge exist in such people, they understand what is at stake, but if you ask a couple of questions about the topic under discussion, the answer is unlikely to be given.

Introverts - "Calm, Only Calm"

Introverts are thinkers.They prefer solitude, they are comfortable alone with themselves: one can reflect on the past, plan the affairs, determine priorities.Such people are not afraid of difficulties, but if they have to do several things at the same time, this leads literally to a panic, the introvert becomes irritated, angry.

Introverts, by the way, also communicate with people, they can not be called hermits.But the described type of people tries to reduce communication to a minimum, even with close friends and relatives they have short-term meetings - introverts feel a burning desire to be alone in just half an hour of intense communication.


Unlike extroverts, introverts study any subject deeply.They are not interested in the breadth of knowledge - let them acquire knowledge only in one area, but this knowledge will be as complete as possible.The minds of introverts constantly "rework" their impressions, analyze the experience they have gained.And, just impressions of such people have a limited number, they prefer to "savor" each of them, whereas an extrovert will quickly get bored, and he literally dies away with new ones.

An extrovert and introvert: characteristics and differences

If you group all of the above, you can distinguish the main differences between the extrovert and introvert.

An extrovert:

  • Extrovert likes diversity, its constancy is depressing;
  • quickly finds a common language with people, can talk for a long time, even with unfamiliar personalities;
  • likes to be in the thick of events, literally charged with energy during the turbulent hours;
  • is inclined to talk more, listen almost can not;
  • has a lot of acquaintances and counts as real friends;
  • is looking forward to a new business, but its aspirations can quickly end if there is a prospect of something new on the horizon;
  • first speaks and acts, and then only begins to think and analyze;
  • is a very energetic person.


  • relax, prefer to relax in a very narrow circle of friends or even at all alone;
  • needs any rest after any activity, even if it was entertainment;
  • first carefully considers everything and only after that something says or acts;
  • he has very few friends - only those people with whom he managed to build a trusting relationship;
  • is always calm and balanced, loves to observe everything and everyone;
  • does not like to feel overwhelmed by work.

Introvert and extrovert - how to get along together?

Often families are created between two completely different people and, of course, the question arises whether it is possible to get along with them?Will it be possible to find "common ground"?Psychologists say that everything is real if you understand the essence of the extrovert / introvert and create favorable conditions for them.

Firstly, for the introvert it is necessary to allocate a place in the house / apartment where he can stay alone, even if this loneliness will be conditional( it is a question of small areas of real estate, when there is no possibility to equip a separate office).But an extrovert does not need such solitude - he should be listened to, dialogue with him.

An important factor is praise: an extrovert needs it, even for the usual washing of dishes, he needs to "give a medal," but the introvert will calmly react to a subtle and appropriate praise, praises and praises will irritate him, he will feel insincerity and close in himself.

Introvert Secondly, it's worth knowing that extroverts think when they're talking.That is, they do not take much time to make a decision - they quickly discussed everything and decided.An introvert will sit thinking, analyzing, planning and calculating risks.He needs time to make a decision, and hurrying such a person is completely useless, this will only make him irritable.

If the spouse is an introvert, then it is worthwhile to tell him / her about some upcoming events in advance - this will enable him / her to think carefully and make a decision or react to the news calmly.Do not immediately demand an answer from him, but still nothing good will come of it.By the way, this very moment often becomes the reason for a family quarrel - one spouse seems that they do not want to share their thoughts with him, and the introvert perceives the situation as torture.

Third, you need to know the peculiarity of the introvert to focus on one particular case.If the introvert is busy with something, then even a banal request to open the door can lead to a "catastrophe".If the introvert is distracted, then it is rather difficult for him then to return to business, he loses the "thread of thought" and spends even more time to restore his calm state.

In a family between an introvert and an extrovert there must be an understanding and in such small things as inviting guests to the house.If for an extrovert it will be a holiday, joy and a charge of energy, then the introvert will most likely become even more closed.But this does not mean that you need to deprive yourself of the joy of communicating with friends or relatives!Simply introvert will periodically retire to another room to calm - let it be his little whim, do not focus on this.

It is important that the spouses realize the situation and accept it.For example, the mother in the decree waits for her husband from work and wants to talk with him - she, an extrovert, is bored.And the introvert husband wants to be alone with himself, gather his thoughts, get used to changing the situation( office / house).Do not make this tragedy - Mom can gain impressions from the trip to a friend, a fitness club or shopping.

Please note: in no case do not try to remake the spouse!An extrovert person will never become an introvert, but scandals can not be avoided.

An interesting fact: many disorders in the family happen precisely because of the confrontation between the extrovert and introvert.For example, a husband who likes friends and companies, most likely simply did not find a common language with his wife introvert.Or, conversely, the introvert husband plunges into the virtual world, to be only in his inner world, fencing himself off from the annoying extroverted wife.

Only understanding, attention and the desire to provide each other with a pleasant pastime will save the marriage between the extrovert and introvert.

Tsygankova Yana Aleksandrovna, medical reviewer, therapist of the highest qualification category

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